The Very Best of Mornings
by haru-chanXXX
Summary: Santana and Kurt always crawled into bed with him. He didn't understand why. And one morning, with a hard problem in his pants, and his dad's clear misunderstanding of just WHY the girls are in his bed, he has to try and explain and deal with loud sex noises. Yeah, loud. /Kurt/Birtt/Santana friendship fic. With papa Burt!


Yeah. SO. Enjoy? And don't eat me for not updating CIAGT.

_

He could feel a hand on his ass, and his legs were wrapped around a couple others. He immediately knew that Brittany and Santana had climbed out of their sleeping bags and into his bed. Which, okay, he knew would happen no matter what. They didn't think boundaries were important when it was just the three of them hanging out. Unfortunately, his body was playing tricks with him, and the warm bodies on either side of him led to one thing; a wonderfully annoying morning boner. _Think of Rachel Berry in her Brittany Spears outfit._

His eyes shot open when he heard the clearing of a throat. His father was standing by them bottom of the stairs, arms crossed, and an undecipherable expression on his face. Most of it looked like his dad was trying hard to be amused, but there was a bit of disapproval there as well. He clearly wanted an explanation, but Kurt didn't exactly have one.

He tried to untangle himself from his girls, but unconsciously they clung to him tighter. He made a disparaging noise in the back of his throat, and looked to his dad for help. But by the looks of it, he wasn't going to get any. His dad was holding back a guffaw. He signaled for Kurt to come upstairs, and quickly left the basement. _Thank Gucci. _

He shook Santana's shoulder, to try and wake her up, but she hit him in the stomach and just rolled on top of him. The pressing of a warm body, although female, against his boner wasn't exactly unenjoyable. But in this circumstance, he could definitely do without it.

"Santana, _get off." _He hissed quietly, not wanting to wake both of the girls up if he could help it. He tried to push her off again, but she growled.

Repositioning herself so she could look into Kurt's eyes, she gave her best bitch glare that she could muster so early and spoke quietly, "Hummel-cakes, it's Saturday. I am _not getting out of this bed_ for any man."

It seemed that Brittany had been awoken though, or was already awake, as she chimed in, "San, let him go. Papa Burt was a little angry, and I don't want Kurt in trouble. Plus, he could go make us breakfast for us, then bring it back!"

Santana turned the glare into a look of consideration before wiggling off of him and onto Brittany. But then her look turned lecherous, and she gave him a leer.

"Happy to see me, _darling_? You only have to _ask_." She purred, rubbing her hand up his side and towards his boner.

Jackknifing from the bed, he quickly hurried into his bathroom and locked the door. Not before he managed to send an irate glare at his girl, which she only replied by wolf-whistling at him before snogging Brittany to an inch of her life. Seeing that had pretty much killed his boner, so he quickly put on his bathrobe, brushed his teeth and then reentered his room. How both girls managed to get naked so fast, he didn't know. But he whined in the back of his throat before hissing out, "Don't do that on _my bed!"_

The only thing he got for his efforts was a rude gesture from Santana in the form of a middle finger in his direction. So, feeling completely out of control, he marched up the stairs and to the kitchen. Better now than later, and have his dad steam about this all day.

Burt was at the kitchen table, finishing off a cup of coffee while reading the paper. But he set it down when Kurt entered the room. "Want to explain anything to me?"

_Okay, clearly he had his buttering up to do now._

"You know me, dad, waking up with two chicks in my bed was **not** my idea! I mean, come on. I gave them both sleeping bags and _all my pillows_, only to have my bed taken over by two cheerleaders? I'm the victim here!"

_Victim act not working. Shit._

"Kurt, buddy, you know I don't mind you having friends over. And I trust you, I do, but I only have a few rules and one of those is that nobody but you sleeps in your bed."

"Yeah, I know, dad, but it's not like I'm going to be entering any kind of sexual relations with _Brittany and Santana. _Gay, remember? Not my type! So it's cool! Because I wouldn't, ever. Ever ever."

"I believe you, kid, but—"

Burt stopped talking when he heard a noise. Kurt looked at his dad curiously, then when the noise was repeated he turned beet red.

**Moans.** Loud, sex moans were emanating from his basement. _Kill me now.  
_

"OHMYGOD." Kurt gasped, turning his eyes towards the basement doorway - open - then back to his dad, who was also clearly embarrassed to have heard it. Taking one for the team, he quickly rushed to his door, slammed it shut and then turned back to his dad.

"They're together. So, clearly, I really don't have to worry, because you're their… friendly rendezvous spot to have their… _going-ons_." Burt said.

His dad cleared his throat before standing up and putting his empty into the sink. "Well! I think I'm going to head to work now. You make sure they don't break anything and that they leave by four, because Finn and Carole will be back from their relatives by then, and Finn doesn't need to hear… **that**." Burt said, waving a hand in the direction of the basement door for explanation.

"Yes, right, of course." He waved to his dad as Burt quickly exited the house. He waited a few seconds before quickly turning on the kitchen radio loudly, to drown out the noises and to try and drown him in good music to forget what just happened. And he would definitely be making them wash his sheets, too. But after breakfast. Most important meal of the day, and all that.


End file.
